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“My Hero” Foo Fighters

10:36 pm Feeling better thanks to some rants and posts on Facebook, told by several to keep going. I don't have much to say, it's been a long, rough day. The only thing I want to write about it is my beliefs. As they have come into question by several folks lately. Over drug addiction. I shared this pic and got some heated responses. It started with a girl I met on Facebook when I made my new account, I was looking for a different Candi, we had mutual friends. A year later, we have met and been hanging out. Even after finding out that we both dated Home Depot. We talked about it once for a few minutes and moved on. But today, she exploded over this. Her issue was that it says you have a weak mind. She doesn't believe that. I thought we agreed that it was personal opinion and we obviously felt differently.

I knew that when I started this journey, starting a blog and Facebook business announcing who I am and never holding back, would be difficult. But I didn't expect it to lead me to attempting suicide. I have opened up arguments with complete strangers in many groups. Some of these immediately became friendships, others getting people blocked and getting kicked out of groups for being better at this than the administrators. Being an Empath Shaman and mirroring people....showing them who they are by taking on their feelings and words and giving them right back. Some people see Love, some people see Hate, they see what they should see in their self.

SO....I did my best to keep my cool with her but she continued to comment and rant on my post, told off one my bestest friends and supporters, told me I wasn't a Real Shaman, in way many more words, went to MY Empath group, found a post I made and ranted on that. Thru all this, I asked her to stop several times. First being as nice as possible, then straight up telling her that she was being a bitch. Then she started tagging me in posts. I felt like she was trying to force her opinion down my throat. So I blocked her. I just recently unblocked her tho, I think she's over it now. I was fine with agreeing to disagree but she pushed me too far.


I Believe that Life is what You make it. With your thoughts, your mind, your soul, that You are a God and have the power to do what You want. It's not easy, especially with so many billion people in the World. I guess that's why there are so many Angels here now with US. I have many. Tony's, Mike's, many B-day Twins. They are Real and we help each other, all of US. If you don't Believe in You, how can anyone else ?? If you don't think you can quit drugs or leave that abusive relationship, then your thoughts, your mind is weak. No one said it was wrong, to ME, it says you need to strengthen your brain. Train yourself with positive thoughts, forget that pain by distracting yourself and learn to ride it out. Get help if you need it; I did, at 36 years old. I finally came to terms with the fact that my mom really is a narcissist because I finally got sober. I went between many different chemicals while drinking alcohol for 15 years or so.

I woke up for ME this time

I was done helping others, thanks to my mom, my neighbors and Boston. Michael from Connecticut mirrored ME and we showed each other what we learned, what we can do and what we were looking for in a True Love partner. We even helped each other learn how we were going to best talk to and deal with our True Loves. We met the first time I went to the psychiatric ward in Geisinger Danville, July 11, 2016. A Man named Michael, from Connecticut, stuck in MY town, lost and playing Christmas music on the Piano for ME from Day One of my stay. When I cut myself to show others how much words hurt, bullying and took a vacation in the mental ward because I was poor. And hiding from a guy who was from Boston. Hanging out with a Man from Connecticut. Fast forward 6 months, I try to kill myself and end up in the Psyche Ward again, with an even more amazing experience. With a Man from Bloomsburg, who doesn't look like anyone I have ever met. He has one tattoo, Anomaly. I stand by what I say. I met more addicts in this place, of course, I've attracted them my whole life and have been called the Mom since my teenage years. Probably since around the age my daughter is NOW. Most of the addicts I met in the psyche ward, got the help they needed and enjoyed the vacation. A lot of them even admitted that it helps them but then something traumatic happens, they start using and so they check them selves in before they end up dead. Something WE are all capable of. MIND and Will power, all the way. Believe you can do it and just do it.

And thank you Facebook for notifying me of a like on the featured pic just now, I was just going to find it and download it for this blog <3

"Superman (It's Not Easy)"

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My Dreams Update

3:21 pm I'm not sure how many people are actually interested in my dreams but I definitely want to update for me and anyway else who might enjoy it. Maybe my sharing can or does help at least one other person to interpret their own dreams. The pic was chosen for everyone who says that if Donnie was into me, He would be here right now. Things don't always happen right away !!!

I'm not talking about the dream with my uncle, I put enough of that one out there. I want to talk about the dream I had Sunday morning. I have to admit, I was a little concerned about how this Mothers Day would turn out....but waking from this dream put me in a great mood....

I was at what I thought was the Danville Middle School. I was walking around outside while having a three way conversation on the phone. It started out that way, I was observing and listening. A guy and a girl were on the other lines and the girl was talking. She was saying something about her hospital stay and that a Donnie was mean to her. I immediately forced myself to ask her what he looked like. I was thinking that there was no way it could be My Donnie. But she didn't answer and when I tried looking at my phone, I couldn't see it, so I put it back up to my ear only to find the call was disconnected. I continued walking around outside, this time looking for Him but he was not out there so I went inside. At first, it looked like the Middle School inside but after walking down the hall and around a corner, it turned into a hospital. The one I have been dreaming about, visiting Donnie in. I walked around looking for Him but couldn't find him. I was starting to panic in my dream but woke myself up realizing and saying to myself that it was a good thing. He wasn't in the hospital !!!!

I definitely believe that it means He is getting out this week !!! Made my week, I can't stop smiling. It's going to be a great week. My friend took my stuff to work and a bunch of her co-workers bought some of my stuff and some are buying some on Friday !!! So fucking cool. Then tomorrow, I haven't talked about it, tomorrow is a special day. My dog is getting his balls cut !!! Woo hoo :)) I haven't talked about it because I'm still in shock over what day it was scheduled, tomorrow is also Boston's Bday. And the fucking doctor doing his procedure, has the same name of the guy I was in love with 17 years, the one who stood me up and caused me to hang out with Boston. How fucking crazy is that shit ??? And how is it significant you ask ?? Because I gave them both up and did everything I could to find a better future; my dog getting fixed on that day, by a doctor with that name, tells me I did good and I'm getting a better future !!! Thursday is going to be even better; Thursday, I finally get to see the doctors who have to sign the papers for me to get my license back !!! Yes, I will be allowed to drive legally again very soon !!!

I'm having a wonderful week, I hope you do too !!! Blessed Be

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“She Talks to Angels”

10:42 pm By The Black Crowes.....I have always LOVEd this song. My fave song by them. In fact, I think I only like two of their songs. I picked this song today for so many reasons. I've been saying it's ME for almost two years now. And last nights dream makes me believe it even more. Especially since that Scorpio keeps asking for a "White Witch who talks to Angels." Oh how I wish I could put a rolling eyes emoticon right here, just for him. He's just like my daughter and hates when I use them. LOL

Anyway, he doesn't even read this, not yet anyway. And he never takes my advice.....I want to talk about last nights dream....I'm so happy. I'm going to put my dream in italics, I haven't figured out how to change the font yet. So here goes.....  I was inside His parents house. I could not see their faces, I'm not sure who they were, I just knew that I was in my Twin Flames parents house. First I was on the couch, then sitting in a chair in the kitchen. It kept going back and forth like that, living room to kitchen, for maybe ten minutes, maybe more; I can't tell time in my 'dreams,' nor do I care because I Hate time. (wow, I do Hate something) Then I was standing in the kitchen, looking at a baby boy in a car seat. A girl put her hand on my shoulder, I looked at her and she talked to ME. Now, if you're new here, I don't usually hear people talking. I was having conversations with His parents but couldn't hear a word. Till this girl talked to ME. She said "I believe that you are a good match for my brother and that he will be happy with you." Then I looked back at the baby but there were two boys in car seats this time. I smiled, then woke up.

Wow. I woke up so fucking happy, it was almost 6:30 am, time to make sure my daughter is awake for school. She gets so mad at me every morning when I swing her door open and ask her if she's up yet. Sometimes she is sitting on her bed, talking to her friends and I get the most evil glare with the words "get out." So much like ME at thirteen. Lucky for her, I'm not mad and crazy all the time like my mother. My mother bought herself a camper. One that has to be hooked to a truck to move. Yeah, that thing is probably not moving for a long time. Good thing I'm ready to leave this place. I'm getting flashbacks of when my daughter was a newborn and my uncle and his friends finally tore down the full size trailer that use to sit there. It was full of junk for as long as I could remember. My mom put it all in my carport. My uncle and cousin stole anything out of it worth value when my mother and I both worked. I was friends with my neighbors back then so they told on him.

Anyway, I use this word too much, anyone got an idea on a better word than anyway ?? HAHA The more I type this and talk about it, the more Facebook friends I have talking about dreams and astral projection and crystals....I just know that I'm on the right path. While I'm on the subject, if you are reading this and want to comment about this particular post, please pay attention, everyone is posting comments on the home page, talking about a particular blog post but not giving details just saying "great post, I'm reading more." Therefore I don't know which one they are talking about. There should be a spot at the end of this post for commenting on this particular blog post. If you comment on the blog page with all the posts, your comment will go to the home page. I can't change that, get it ?? I hope so.......keep scrolling.....

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MY crystal grid for this Full Moon. It's for Love, Money and Healing  <3  

I copied a money grid, an astrology grid and MY Birth Chart  <3

My interpretation of my dream......I believe that I'm right about my Twin Flame. I haven't shared this thought before: I think He is so sad because He was suppose to have had a Twin for Real. Who wasn't even born. And I believe that was her visiting me in my dream, letting me know that I'm right and she approves. I had to think about it for awhile, I almost had a twin, so I wasn't too sure. But she said 'her brother' so it had to be His sister not mine. I am so very happy. Especially when I got to ride by the hospital where I'm pretty damn sure My crush still is and was most likely asleep by then.

He always went to bed early when we were together. I wonder often if He knew that I went to bed not long after Him and would fall asleep with my palm against the wall where His head was.......always waking before Him and so freaking happy when the nurses left His door open. I could see Him sleeping as I walked out to the breakfast room and He would wake up sooner from the lights   :))

So today I was sitting in the car outside the Gatehouse, next to that hospital, thinking about Him while my friend grabbed some of her stuff. When a song I never heard before came on the radio. I don't care for Ed Sheeran's music but his lyrics are amazing. This one is just perfect, "Castle on the Hill." So many things behind those words, the title and the lyrics. The radio plays for me around here. This house is so special for so many reasons. But I've lived here for around 35 years, living on my own a few times before deciding that I needed to be here for awhile. Now I know that I have absorbed all the power and energy from this place, fixed a really old broken heart (the Lovers Leap Indian Girl whose name has still evaded me) and I'm ready to go out there to share this energy and am able to protect my own energy with the physical help of my Twin Flame, who is going to be here real soon. I want to add the kiss emoji here


P.S.  3:05 am .....I got to ride by that hospital again. Dark out. Took some interesting pics. Realized that I never explained the talking to Angels part. Since the Scorpio read this post and was confused, he thought that I was saying he was my Twin Flame. LMAO. You can't give me twins  😛   No, I believe that Donnie is. And I believe that the girl in my dream was His Angel sister. I have Tony Angels, so many that I'm going to work on a list, then write a post about all of them. I have a couple Michael's now also, all talented musicians. So I'm just saying that I can help that Scorpio and I try to, goodness do I try. But he refuses to listen. I've got some music playing right now, Spotify on my phone, free, so I have to shuffle and let it pick for me.....I'm ending with one of my fave that just started, "Indian Summer" by John Eaton, album title, Washington, D.C.: Made In America.....Thank you again Michael from Connecticut.

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“Things that make you go hmmm…”

2:10 pm Remember that song ?? What an oldie, are you singing it now ??? HAHA Totally fitting for this. It is has been a very interesting few days. Very entertaining. First the guys being creeps and idiots. Like that Ryan. Ugh...I was debating on whether to even talk about it, but he was literally just tagged in a post that I'm commenting on and following. GRR.....He said that I don't know what I want and should make up my mind. Obviously he wasn't paying attention. I am a Healer. So, I do whatever the person healing needs. A reading, a hair cut, perhaps they need some stones, who fucking knows. Just like with Ryan. I helped him by talking. That is all. He even got it for free. Lucky him.

I do know what I want however, I want to continue being a healer and a mom. As for my writing, like this blog here, I could care less if I make money off it. It would be wonderful, sure, but it's not my dream. This is just a hobby. Just like my stories on Wattpad. It's free. I post for free, you read for free, no money involved. And of course I would totally be happy if I didn't even need to make money. It's just paper. But unfortunately I need to eat and provide for my daughter.

Now, what I really want to talk about, Dreams. So much talk about it lately. And so much confusion. I am so tired of people trying to tell me how it works. I have been using my dreams and astral projection my whole life, I don't need help, they do. I know what dreams mean and I know exactly how life works. I'm not getting into it here, it's a touchy subject and not meant to be discussed fully with everyone. I would like to talk about my dream this morning. "I was in the backseat of a car, in the middle, between my daughter and Donnie. My daughter and I were on phones and talking to each other. Donnie had his hand on my leg, his head resting on me, napping. Then, all of a sudden, I was in an apartment with some chic telling me to leave him alone, says he doesn't like me. So I went to a bedroom, she followed and continued saying that. I almost started crying" I made myself wake up. I do not like crying in dreams. Crying in real life is good and healing. I have cried lots and still do. But dreams, they are suppose to be happy, they are suppose to be mine. This chic pulled me into hers and tried to hurt me.

How do I know ?? I could see her very clearly. I know what she looks like. I don't know her in real life tho. And I was happy in the car with my kid and Donnie. To me, it was signifying that we were taking a journey together, far away from this Hell that we are in. Then I was suddenly in an apartment that I did not recognize and tried to leave. But I was someone else's dream. Hers. So I had to wake up. I believe she is His ex. I don't know about His past, nor do I care, it's the past. But I'm fairly confidant that she cheated on Him but still wants Him. And that's just too bad for her. He is like me, once you break that trust, it's over.

Anyway. Another reason that I know I'm on the right path, I hadn't remembered a dream for 10 days. I write them down, so I know. It was mostly that Ryan kid. He wanted me and thought about me and got in my way. Once I got rid of him, things got better in Real Life. Then I had to deal with that Noah creep. He admitted that he had been watching me for a few days !!! Said he saw that I was a healer but never asked for healing. Only got pissed at me when I told him what he needed anyway. That jerk got even more mad and had the nerve to go to my wall and post a nasty comment on the pic of my beautiful, innocent cat 🙁 Jerk. And just as I blocked him and made a post about it, one of my high school friends commented on it. One that rarely ever comments or likes anything on anyone's page, ever. How is that significant ?? His brother's name is Noah. Synchronicity, not coincidence.

So really, I don't need to be told what to do. I need everyone to stand down and get out of my way. I'm trying to help My Man. He is new to all of this and needs as much energy as I can give, without anyone standing in our way. We are almost there, the dream about the car ride says so. And so do my horoscopes and tarot readings, even the tarot readings that others are doing for everyone. So really, I got this. And all you negative nancy's and naysayers and demon slayers better get the fuck out of my way !!! I am here to Love. To give Love, to teach Love and find Love. If you have a problem with that, then you don't deserve to be in My Heaven. And for that girl, she better learn that the best way to love someone is to let them be happy. And He will be with me. I think he is awesome and I already love him. But I want to fall in love with him and make him happy, so bitch please, get the fuck lost and let him find happiness.


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“Love Game”

10:20 pm I have always believed and still do, "Life's a Game made for Everyone, And Love is the Prize" if this Scorpio Ryan would just pay attention. Those lyrics are from the song "Wake Me Up" by Avicii and is on the main page of my website, Absolutely 100 how I feel. The song starts "Feeling my way through the darkness, Guided by a beating Heart," exactly what I've been doing my whole life and I told Ryan, I am a Cupid and he was in my way. I kept sending him the Facebook sticker with the dog who has an arrow in his butt, a frown and is shaking his head NO. I said that it was him. But he didn't believe me. Not my problem anymore. I got him to block me.....hahaha....but he let me spew and tell him all about what I Believe. Lots and lots. For like almost 48 hours. LOL

Yes, I was shocked at how long this kid let me pester the Hell out of him with My Preaching about Life. LOL  Pun there for my kid. She Loves puns. And she hates me right now. Which is why I had to preach to this kid. He's a Scorpio and just like her. He wasn't ready to Believe yet either, just like my kid. But unlike her, he was ready to listen. And he did. Till he got sick of me turning him down for sex. HA. Then he had enough and blocked me. Bet he will be apologizing soon. Oh yeah, he will fall in Love and thank me, they always do.

It was Fun....dealing with this reflection of my daughter. Ryan wanted to know how I know that I'm on the right path but as soon as I said he was one of the reasons, he got pissed and blocked me. So I'm going to tell YOU. For one, he was absolutely a reflection of my daughter. She is hating on Me right now and wishing I was not around...This boy is having nightmares about it and he's telling me about it. But he doesn't Believe it. Oh well, not my problem, I gave the message, he will get it one day. Just like that Scorpio I dated, this one likes to read and hear about My Mind....he will continue to follow me and see what I'm up to. He only blocked me because he finally admitted to me that he likes several girls and wants to fuck of course I told him that was not how it works and he shouldn't think about anyone but the one he wants to Love. My daughter made this picture for me on some app while I was telling this boy to get lost. She sent it to my phone for me to upload as soon as he blocked me. HAHAHAHA.....her soul knows, I read (pronounced reed) birth charts and astrology, but here and now, in this physical plane that I'm helping make My Reality, my daughter knows that I will share her artwork with everyone because she has her own World to share things with. Here's her Art that she made for Ryan and ME..... to prove that I have found my True Love:

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I Am the cat, grabbing My Star, my True Love.....we are all Stars, made of stardust, making our dreams come true

If you still like what I'm saying, Thank You for reading and learning with Me. Since Ryan asked me why I think Donnie is the One, then blocked me before I could answer, just proves I Am right. I have to tell all of You My story, not this little brat who doesn't care about my personal life. Seriously, he didn't even ask why I am not with Donnie, nope, this Scorpio just wanted me to go see him. Didn't even pay enough attention to the fact that I am Not allowed to drive, at the very same time that Donny is locked up, therefore I'm stuck in this house of Magick on this Magick Mountain.

And how about that Empath group I'm in ?? I've met and made some Awesome fucking friends. I have helped others open people's eyes and learn things about Life. One girl made a post about psychic attackers and how to protect yourself. It was a long one but well worth the read for the ones who needed it. There was one comment, which was from an older man across the World. I have seen him commenting on things I have also before. I commented next, I thanked her and asked her where she got her stone information because I didn't feel that some of them were placed in the proper category (protection or otherwise). The old man immediately emailed me. Told me a little about himself and how he heals others. I shared the same. He had me send him some pics of my back (clothes on) so that he could help me heal my back, gave me info on what kind of wood I need to carry (yes, wood heals also, tree hugging) and he told me that I was doing a great job and was on the right path, to carry on because I found a good guy for Love

Then we have my Gemini's. The ones who started a group only a few weeks before meeting me. They insisted I join them as moderator and they Love me. And of course I Love them. We have so much fun, you should join our group. We share information on Birth Charts to help you understand yours. We even have arguments about what each other shares, which is great. Everyone can see how differently we all view the World, even us Masters are still learning so this group gets to learn to understand each other more right along with us. It started as a group for Gemini's but we quickly realized how many others were joining us so that they could learn more about their Gemini's, so we changed it to Zodiac Alliance and talk about all astrology. FUN group....



More Magick, My Magic Tattoo Man shared this yesterday. He draws his pictures with pencil, from his dreams. I absolutely Believe this one was about Me and my Teratoma Tumor blocking My Magick

What about My Man ??? Ryan wants to know, he thinks I'm wrong. This Scorpio claims that just because I dream about this guy doesn't mean He is the One. Well, my dear Ryan, have you not read my stories about Him ??? Like how we met ?? That the Piano Man helped me block Boston while showing me what I was Really looking for in a Man physically. Shit, I met Piano Man and My Man at the same place. Spent 6 days and 5 nights locked up with them. Dreaming together, getting to know each other physically and spiritually, while showing each other just how Magickal we each were. Mike, the Piano Man was giving up Hope but then was so thankful to have met me, the one who cut her arms up to show humans how much words and thoughts hurt others. That week with Mike was Magickal and started a whole New kind of Love in this town.

Look how many humans have been talking about and selling items to ask for Archangel Michael's help. Coincidence that Piano Man is Mike and is helping me with this Scorpio ?? NO....Mike and I agreed on that....synchronocities. This boy Ryan doesn't but I am sure that he will soon. Just like Mike is finally Believing in Me and helping me now. I've been hearing about Archangel Michael and Magic Mike way too often for me not to Know that.

I've been listening to "Out of My League" by Fitz and The Tantrums. A song that I found while attending barber school and absolutely LOVE. I always Knew it had something to do with My Man. At first I thought it was Mike but 40 days didn't fit, Mike hadn't been in there that long, neither was I. But his twin, My Man Donnie, he was there 40 days when I left and was forced to go somewhere else. Somewhere that's going to take way longer than 40 days to get out off. A very haunted hospital which is next to a juvenile detention center, a very secured one with barbed wire fences. There's also a Homeless shelter called the Gatehouse nearby that's full of "skanks" right now, along with My Soul Sister, who is not a skank, My Aquarius Witch Brandi. Her house burned up so she's there right now, at the Gatehouse, same time as My Man. Hmmm....

There's also a very haunted spot next to this hospital. In a field where there use to be a house. High school kids know it and explore it. There was still a house there when I was in high school and went. But the Magician I awoke a year ago, the Aries hotty who took a copy of my birth chart book, told me that when he went there recently, the house was gone. But they were able to get in the basement still. So yeah, my Aries dog stayed while that Aries went exploring some more. My point ?? My Man has been forced to be locked up there, in this very haunted place. We met, we got to know each other physically and now he needs my help to get him out. And the title of this post, "Love Game" is to Him, Donnie. Remember, He and I watched Lady Gaga play at the Superbowl while we were locked up and forced to talk to our parents.....

So there my child Scorpio and that enough reasons to Believe yet ??  I absolutely Know what I want: to "Feel This Moment," I want to continue making Healing Gifts for others, in This World, to spread My Healing Love while I wait for My Man to get released and we save Mother Earth. If not, too bad, I'm done writing for today. LOL


P.S.  I forgot two other things that I'd like to mention, about how I Know He is the One. #1. When I meditate, astral project and sleep, I listen to my binural app or the one which allows me to listen to beach waves and thunderstorms at the same time. I only want to hear My Man's voice but Donnie didn't talk to me enough for me to memorize His voice therefore I know that I have to wait for Him to be here and listen to it for Real. #2. I'm obsessed with Twins, I want to have Twins and of all the guys I've met so far, He is the only one who can give me Twins


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“Bad Romance”

4:02 am This song is playing as I start this post <3 Goes right along with what I want to write about 🙂 I am LOVIN the synchronicities <3 I made a post in a group introducing myself and offering free readings. I did not expect to get all the LOVE that I have been getting. I have helped several people already. So amazing. Some of them just wanted to talk for a couple minutes, some wanted some advice on very personal issues and lots have wanted a free tarot reading and birth chart. Awesomeness

<3 I am even getting a free gift from someone who is thankful for me helping out others, she does not want anything in return <3

I knew I could find more people like me out there. And I have found many. Well, we have found each other. It takes two. And why am I writing ?? Apparently there is some confusion on who my crush is. I did stay in the psyche ward twice and meet two different guys. I also said that I had fallen in love with the first one, Piano Man. But if I were still crushing on him, I would be calling him the Piano Man or Connecticut or the Hermit. No, I'm crushing on his twin. Who really isn't his twin, if they were brothers, they would not be identical twins. I really do think they were in another life tho. No doubt in my mind. I believe they both have Taurus Ascendants and Leo Suns. And Gemini something, perhaps their Moons or Mercury ?? I have a Gemini Moon and communicate telepathically with it, would totally make sense for it to be one of those planets.


Anyway, yes, I do love Connecticut. And I did fall for him but it wasn't true love. He didn't feel the same and didn't talk to me much. In fact, he ignored me several times in front of others, making sure I noticed. But he did care, he did listen when we were alone, he totally believed and understood what was happening with me. He even said that he wished he could help. He didn't realize he already was and had been almost his entire life. It's been awhile since I've mentioned my very first vacation. The first state I spent the night in, that was not the one I was born in or lived in. In Connecticut. And I just bet it was near him. It was around the time he was one year old. Plus, the next state I stayed in was Massachusetts. Yes, Connecticut has been there between us along. He felt me. He told me the first day we stayed in the Psyche Ward, his first words to me. Forcing me to look in his eyes. And I couldn't stop watching him for the rest of my stay.

I really do want to see him again. I want to hug him and thank him. A real big hug. I will probably cry. Happy tears of course. I'm pretty damn sure I will be visiting the state Connecticut in the near future, there is a big crystal shop up there somewhere. And I'm hoping to go with my crush. I know that Piano Man will feel me, maybe he's even reading this from time to time, I do feel him sometimes. And I'm sure he will make it a point to see me. He did come here to Danville, PA and help me save myself.

No, my crush is the 'twin.' Too many signs for it not to be. Like the meme above, the featured pic for this post. I totally felt Him when I read that meme, His lips are the ones I want for my tattoo. I definitely want to look in His eyes, I am ready now, my answer to Kaleo's "Way Down We Go." And He doesn't have a nickname, He's too awesome. We watched Lady Gaga perform at the Superbowl together, one of my fave people in the World. He sat with His parents, my mother and I at the next table. Eating veggies and dip, we love our fresh, healthy foods. We went for more together (three times) so that we could be close to each other, close enough to touch but didn't. (oh yeah, the hospital gave us free food for the Superbowl) We tried not to stare at each other too much, it's good that He sat with His back to me, forcing me to look at His parents: He was the one who needed to look at them and stand up to them. And He has that one tattoo, only one, Anomaly. Have you looked up what it means ?? It is so Him. And He can give me twins.

That's one of the hold ups here. He didn't want kids. Then He met me. I'm everything He wants and more. But He didn't expect me to be older, He even teased me about it. Nor does He want kids. But He is thinking about it now. In my last dream about Him, He told me so, when we were kissing. Plus I have been forced to think about Him and it makes me dream about Him. I feel Him but He hasn't realized that He can feel me. Especially being where He is. He's lucky. Lucky that Connecticut helped, I went in that psyche ward the second time with thoughts of not talking to anyone, especially a male. But He was one of the first people I saw when I was wheeled in there and I ended up talking to almost everyone in there again. All I could think about after first laying my eyes on Him, was how badly I wanted to shower because I did not want Him to see me that way. I was a hot mess and very lost. He's lucky I'm patient and busy now. He's just damn Lucky.

I can not wait till the day He is here. The cards say it will be very, very soon 🙂


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Finding Your Twin Flame

3/1/2017 12:47 pm Last night I was thinking about my blog and what to write next but of course all I am concentrating on is being with my Twin Flame. So then I was thinking about all the articles I have read on Twin Flames and how disappointed I always am in them. Have you read any ?? They are lengthy and I don't find them helpful. Most of them try selling the good info. And if you know me, I hate money, I want everything to be free. And when I opened Facebook today, the first thing it showed me was another article on Twin Flames. Of course I read it, especially since I don't remember seeing this author before.....but once again, I was extremely disappointed.

So here I am. I am going to start with more nonsense. I want to say that I always believed there was someone for me who is more than just a soul mate. I always believed that soul mates are our friends, family, pets, any soul who is here for us and loves us. I never had a name for it, now someone has deemed it a Twin Flame. Some day I will do the history and find out where it came from. I've known about it for about two years. I've been looking for him for as long as I can remember. At least 20 years. My biggest issue has been to remind myself that I have to wait because he's going to be young. I get so lonely that I forget I have to wait for him to be old enough.

Now on to the good stuff. Way too many times in the last two years or so, I have thought and felt like I have wasted my time, energy and money. It got to be so bad that I tried to take my own life. I was that lonely. But as I've said, it was worth it. Crazy but true. And I absolutely do NOT recommend it. Not everyone is as lucky as I nor as powerful as I. Not many believe or know just how powerful I am but that will change some day and this very blog here is going to be a huge help. I've spent my whole life figuring out how to help as many others as I can. With this blog and my writing. And of course, I'm not just 'preaching,' I have actually been out there and experienced it for my self. And of course I've seen it many times over. (so many times in the last two years, I've asked why have I seen so many humans find true love but I can't)




First and most importantly, you absolutely have to know yourself and love yourself. After my time in group therapy, I believe 100, that how you are raised has a lot to do with this. Unfortunately, anyone can have kids and not everyone is fit to be a parent. Which is why we should help each other, not hurt each other. I also learned that it can be extremely difficult for some people to love their self. And at 37, I still believe the only way to help them, is to love them and SHOW them that they are special. (what can I say, I believe I'm a cupid, I'm a hopeless romantic)

The next subject is a touchy one. Empathy and being an Empath. After 37 years, I honestly believe that as least one of every Twin Flame couples is an Empath. I also believe that at least one will always feel the other. For instance, I'm an Empath, I feel everyone around me and everyone I touch, even my pets. It's difficult for me to distinguish between them because I feel them all. And I believe that my Twin Flame feels me and only me. I will definitely update this often. For me, I'm usually happy. Ask around, most of my life, I generally smile, play music, dance and do what I can to make others smile. I can't help it. I've always believed that Love is the answer for everything and that I'm a cupid. I couldn't help being happy. Of course I never told anyone that I felt like a cupid nor that I was an Empath. I was too afraid to tell anyone that I was an Empath, I didn't know anyone else who was and I was already labeled a freak because of my clothes. Anyway, I'm getting off subject a little, my point is that it's important to embrace who you are and in today's World, it has become a lot easier to just be You, hasn't it ??

It's important to know that your Twin Flame might not know anything about this. YOU are reading this, therefore you are aware but they might not know any of it or believe any of it. They might not know what an Empath is or that they may have those abilities. You have to stay strong and true to your self. Never let their emotions or the emotions of others bring you down like I did.

What next ?? I need feedback (comments)......

(keep scrolling, there's more)


Make a list. Anything you like and want in your significant other. There are over 7 billion people out there, it can't be impossible. Well, ok, it can, so keep it Real. Just don't be afraid to put things on there that seem a little outrageous like in that movie Practical Magic. One blue eye and one green, it is possible. Write it down, keep it in your head, put it on your love altar. Mine has been everywhere, I don't even know where it is at the moment because I move it so often. Trust me, it will help you decide when you meet someone. You will know what to talk about, you won't waste time on stupid shit and end up in a bad relationship.

Get a dream catcher. Or make one. If you make one, there are only two important things to remember: 1. leave an opening at the end and the beginning of the string. Start by tying the string to the outer loop and don't put a loop on it so that the bad dreams can get out. 2. your intentions and thoughts while making it are more important than the materials you make it with.

Believe in your dreams. Let them guide you. If you dream about a glass breaking, look up what that means. If a big blue spider appears, look up what the color and spider means (to dream of). As long as you believe in your self and your dreams, they absolutely will guide you. Especially if you have a dream catcher. If you want to know who your Twin Flame is, you want to meet them or you want to be with them, think about it before you go to sleep. Make it your last thoughts, imagine what you want, try talking to them and I promise your dreams will help you. Even if you're not looking for a Twin Flame, if you're thinking about finding a job or a new home, your dreams will guide you.


Healing stones. They help. I wasn't sure, I was very skeptical for a long time. Shit, till not too long ago. I tried but I didn't truly believe. Which is why they didn't help me as much as they could. I know a lot about a lot of them so if you ever have any questions about them, ask or if you aren't sure what a stone you have is, send me a pic, I can help. For attracting your Twin Flame, I suggest eight. Wear them or keep them with you in a small bag. I'm making necklaces and stuff with them now. I'm still waiting on some of the stones to get here. Rose Quartz, Carnelian, Aquamarine, Rainbow Moonstone, Sodalite and Amethyst are a must. You also need a cleansing stone and a grounding stone. For cleansing, just about any clear stone works, I recommend Selenite or Clear Quartz. Finding a grounding stone is tricky. A lot of people like Black Tourmaline but for strong Empaths such as myself, I suggest something else. I prefer Hematite and Snowflake Obsidian.

Again.....suggestions, questions ????